Description
Navigating the waters of dementia can be frightening, unleashing a myriad of emotions for everyone involved. After Vicki Tapia’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, followed closely by her father with Parkinson’s disease-related dementia, she struggled to find practical, helpful information to light her way. Somebody Stole My Iron began as a diary to help her cope, but emerged as a road map for others. It offers a glimpse into her family’s life as they rode the waves of dementia, sometimes sailing, other times capsizing. This engaging memoir offers useful information from experts within the field of Alzheimer’s research, personal lessons the author learned along the way, and ideas and tips for managing the day-to-day ups and downs of dementia.
“Vicki Tapia’s diary of the decline of her parents’ lives due to Alzheimer’s is a harrowing account of the gradual disintegration and ending of two lives in advanced age. It is also a daughter’s loving memoir, a painstaking tale of the progression of dementia, with its sad, funny, mysterious, baffling, infuriating and frustrating series of incidents. At the end of each chapter Tapia summarizes what she has learned from her experience and how, with hindsight, it could have been improved, providing an excellent practical guide for the reader. This book is both a spellbinding modern tale and an invaluable resource.”
-Valerie Hemingway, author, Running With the Bulls, My Life With the Hemingways
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Kindle Customer –
As the widow of a man who had Frontotemporal Dementia (specifically, corticobasilar degeneration), I could relate to the author’s practical concerns and emotional responses.
She gives sound advice to families and caregivers just beginning this awful journey.
Kay Bartlett –
The book is great. My husband and I took care of his mother for 4yrs and a friend is going through the same thing now. Some very good advise and I wish I had it sooner. My husband has Parkinsons so much of it applies to him also.
p w –
ALL carers, for people who have any type of dementia (and or alzheimer’s) should read this book, should be a part of training for carers. amazing and true. Have recently lost someone to this cruel and devastating illness.
JJ O’Neil –
This book helped me understand dementia so much better. There were many parts i could relate to. I chose to read this book because I wanted to gain a deeper understanding and it certainly did that.
Deb Adamson –
Vicki writes about her parents’ journey with dementia and Parkinson’s. This is a very hard hitting book full of detail and unexpected facts about these diseases. I felt as if I was walking alongside her on this journey and sharing her angst as she struggled to make sure she did the right thing for both parents.
There is a good section at the end of each chapter called “lessons learned” and I think many people will find this extremely useful.
The book, in my opinion, is not just about dementia but about the whole human experience, from birth to death, from love to indifference. I read it in a couple of days and was fully immersed in it despite the grittiness of the story because Vicki writes her tale with sensitivity and humour and her love for her parents shines through strongly.
Recommended reading.
Susan Z. –
My mother started having memory issues about seven years ago. I’ve read a LOT of books on Alzheimer’s and dementia and I’ve gained a lot of knowledge. I’ve read so much in fact, that when I came across this book I was thinking… No thank you. I was feeling sort of burnt out on the whole topic. Vicki caught my attention with the perfect title “Somebody Stole My Iron.” It made me giggle and right away I felt like Vicki SURELY must have met my mother.
Now for the reasons I love this book:
1. It’s not like any of the many others I’ve read. It reads like a great novel that even people who are not dealing with disease will enjoy. ( Vicki, you are an amazing writer. Stick with it. )
2. The tips are wonderful and I didn’t feel like I was getting them out of a text book.
3. It was the first book I’ve read that actually talked candidly about the not so sweet people that end up with this disease! I love my mom with all my heart but she has never been the sweet little old lady we often hear about. She’s opinionated and cranky and it’s only getting worse.
4. I felt like I had my own personal support group. I was in my own place with a dear friend ( who I’ve never met lol ) who understood what I was dealing with. Invaluable.
I laughed, I giggled, I sobbed, I softly cried, and I learned a lot.
One last thing, I loved the list of
Dos and don’ts in the back of the book that Vicki shared. I ran copies for all seven siings and for my dad and had them laminated. They are a great reminder so don’t miss them!
socialworkacademic –
This memoir about the author’s care for her parents – primarily her mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, does an excellent job of telling the reader what it’s like to be an adult child caregiver, what having a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease is like, and about death and dying. Her notes at the end of her chapters about “lessons learned,” as well as her appendices are very informative and I highly recommend this for families dealing with Alzheimer’s or another similar dementia. ~Kathryn Betts Adams, MSW, PhD, author of
The Pianist’s Only Daughter: A Memoir
Andrew –
ok
Kindle Customer –
This book shows two people deteriorating mentally. It is an insightful tale lived with duty to others in mind and told with love, humor, compassion, and accuracy of detail. Like a visual painting suggests concepts or ideas, this books draws a roadmap through the morass of caring for the patient with dementia. It is suggestive not literal. Each patient with dementia is different. Because of the conflicting emotions generated in the required role reversals, nothing in life is harder to assimilate. It brings out the best and worst in both the caretaker and the person with dementia. The author grasped this as she lived through it and walked hand in hand with her parents following this long journey to its end. I bought the book because the title and the cover picture reminded me of my Mother and I was curious of the contents. I found Mothers iron in the refrigerator and walked and followed her through untold adventures for 15 years. This book helped me grieve. Remarkably, Mom died the same day of the authors Dad. I was blessed with the birth of a granddaughter on that day. The book is well done. it is easy to read book but emotionally stimulating. There are many helpful hints.
Jean Lee –
As a daughter of two parents who also suffered with Alzheimer’s, I found many connecting points with Vicki Tapia’s book.
She begins with the earliest suspicions about her parents’ mental clarity and struggles with the guilt of moving them from their life-long community to the town where she lives so she can be actively involved in their care. Through a series of subsequent moves for increased needs and security, Vicki feels as though she abandons them when she has to tend to her own life, family, and career. After years of agonizing decline she is overwhelmed by peace and serenity after they pass. I related to all these events in Tapia’s tender account.
Caregivers will learn much from Tapia as she leads them through the painfully honest account of her parents’ illness and her years of decision making for them. Yet she tells her story with grace as she strives throughout the years of their illness to maintain dignity for her parents.
Five stars to Tapia. Thank you, Vicki, for sharing your intimate story in order to help others along the journey.
Susan Straley, Author, Alzheimer’s Trippin’ with George –
The story of a woman wrestling to influence the care of both parents, at first from a distance and then in a facility closer to her home.
Her story is inter-laced with tips she learned from each part of her experience. You will learn and be drawn into the comedy, mystery, and grief that is the life of a dementia caregiver.
Nice one –
A wonderful true and honest account of surviving Dementia . The way the stories are written all ending with lessons learnt is a real help to people like myself who are struggling to come to terms with the devastating truth that I am losing the man I love to this nightmare disease .Any help on this path is most welcome and this book even at the end of a tough day is an easy read . So well done Vicky . And I haven’t even finished it yet .